even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
