i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
