I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
