she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
