why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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