i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
