he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
