chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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