The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk is not a location!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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