literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
