Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
