so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
