Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
