he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He passed out mid-signature
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
