I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Alive.
So much puke
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
