whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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