she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
