Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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