The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
