I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
