I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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