I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
