So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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