do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cockslap morals
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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