I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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