Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
