The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
