If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
