why didn't you poke me back
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
