I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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