It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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