doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize