She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
