..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
