so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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