at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
