I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
