I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
