Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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