Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
