similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
