fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my nose is crying tears of wow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
