she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
