New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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