yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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