Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
