I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
