Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just pee around me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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