it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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