Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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