is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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