she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
