I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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