They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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